Many might not know but the 12th of May is awareness for Fibromyalgia. An invisible illness that not many can easily see directly. Which does make it hard for those suffering from the chronic illness. This illness is just one of the chronic illnesses that has definitely flipped my life around majorly. It causes severe fatigue and widespread pain. Among a lot of other symptoms that’d take me quite some time to explain. But basically it attacks every system in your body and there is no fix or cure for this. Doctors are only just now starting to even recognise this as an illness, which is a great start. But sometimes we just need the people around us to understand a little of what we go through each day. Here is a small glimpse in a life struggling with Fibromyalgia and other invisible illnesses I have.
Some of you may not be aware that I fight a continual battle against myself. A battle not all can see. It’s called Fibromyalgia. It’s been apart of my life for a over 6 years and has been a huge struggle for me to get up each morning and decide to continue on. Not many can see the true torture this disease attacks you with each day. Even for me, every day, I have no clue what will be tossed at me and how my body will react. Will it do what it’s meant to? Or will it betray me and decide that I just can’t? The last few weeks have been incredibly hard on me health wise and I have seen the huge toll this life has on my body… and it’s honestly terrifying.
It’s extremely hard facing each day, opening tired eyes that really have had no rest, knowing full well how your day will be, even before you even move. To know that you aren’t quite as lucky as some because you have a very limited energy supply to get you through the day. That you have to plan, plan, plan…to stagger the simplest of tasks throughout your days and weeks and even then…you still might not have anything left in you to complete the tasks. Something simple for you, may end up being a massive mountain for us.
Have you ever had to mentally prepare yourself for the day ahead? And not in the sense of running through a to do list but completely preparing yourself for whatever your body might throw at you? Knowing full well that you have absolutely no control over any of it. Believe me when I say it’s no easy feat to force yourself out of that bed and start the day.
Have you ever just sat there knowing you have to get up and stand but physically don’t have the strength to do so? Have you ever began walking and realise your legs just can’t hold your weight any longer? Have you ever just walked a short distance down the hallway and gotten so exhausted you feel like passing out from the exhaustion? To feel every joint and muscle ache in pain for no rhyme or reason? This disease though is so much more than even this. Your body literally feels like it’s shutting down on you and no longer wants to function. Your brain becomes so tired that forming or saying words becomes an effort and fills you with this fog that you can barely think through. Eating no longer holds the joy it once did, it’s just something you need to do and nothing more. Every sense in your body is hypersensitive; lights, sounds, tastes become easily overwhelmed making things even harder to cope with, overwhelming your already fried system. And to top that all off because all of this strain and toll on your body, your mind falls into this deep cycle of fighting to stay alive. You fight an internal battle that you can’t even see, just to survive the hell it is putting you through. You struggle to find the good and happiness and become so anxious about things that seem so trivial and stupid, but yet you struggle to control the feeling that threatens to overwhelm you.
It honestly is through hard times that you find the strength in those who love you and have stood by you no matter what. They didn’t leave because it was to much. It’s in these hard times you find who truly are your people. They don’t abandon just hold on tighter. I know that without them here helping me get through the day I wouldn’t be where I am today.
But do you know what? The one thing that gets me through is my family. With a simple touch as they walk past or a small smile it helps in ways you can’t imagine. It gives you that little something when you can’t see any good that there’s these amazing people that are there with you through it all. This is the one good thing out of this terrible illness I have learnt and hold close to me… is that of the love and support of my family is everything.
Yes, these chronic illnesses have changed me, unbelievably so…but under it all, I’m still me just a bit different. So yeah, I might be smaller, I might be weaker, my eyes dim from pain and tiredness…but under all that mess and exterior, I’m still just me. just a version that had to change to accomodate all the baggage of invisible illnesses.
This my friends is a very small glimpse into what Fibromyalgia and chronic illnesses do to people.
Today is Fibro awareness day. Please help share and spread the word for awareness of this invisible illness. Please remember that just because you can’t see something doesn’t mean it isn’t there, isn’t real.
To all those out there that are suffering please know you’re not alone. There is always someone to turn to. For me that is the beautiful woman standing next to me…my mum. She may be wearing the shirt that says for my hero and I might be wearing a superhero hoodie but for all my life my mum has stood by me and been there no matter what, she may not see it but she’s just as much my hero as I am to her. She’s helped shape the person I am today and she did it alone, that’s no easy feat…she is stronger then she ever will see. I don’t know what I would do without her support and my family. Her patience, understanding and love is what helps me get through the darkness. You’re my light and without you I’d be lost in it.
This illness may force us to change but it’s how we continue on that matters. It’s ok to be scared and to feel like your world is crashing in around you, that the pain you feel is too great to bear any longer. But Just remember that there’s someone out there that sees you as their hero and loves you unconditionally. 💖
Thank you to all those that help support me through not only the good but also the bad as well. You mean the world to me.
If you made it this far, thank you for reading! It means the world to me.
To better pain free days x